Welcome to the second installment of my self-portrait project! This week’s guidance for our self-portrait was finding stillness in the midst of the fullness of life.
When nap time rolls around for my girls, I immediately go into me time. Actually, I am downright greedy about it. I put my phone on silent, and for the most part I use this time to do only things I want to do. Whether I work on my photography, take a class online, read a book, take a bath, exercise, crafts, whatever. As long as I am enjoying it, that’s what I am doing. I realize this sounds like crazy talk to many moms out there, because how do I get anything done, right? Well, honestly, I don’t. I kind of scrape by with the minimum effort in all the “house” things that I don’t enjoy doing.
Nap time is where I often find my stillness. I don’t necessarily stop and meditate (though I am trying to do that everyday), but the act of doing something creative or enjoying something someone else created slows me down. I take time to enjoy that, which is around me. I light a candle and stop to notice the aroma. I see the patterns of the afternoon light streaking through my bedroom windows. I notice how much I love certain combinations of color. I feel the tingly warm water of the bath on skin as the tension washes away.
I used to feel selfish for my lack of productivity during nap times. But I know that even though it looks like I’m doing nothing, I’m actually doing something very good for my soul. When I take time to fill my cup I love my life and those around me so much more.
Regarding the portrait, I set up a scene of me reading some books I’m loving right now: “Wearing God” by Lauren Winner and “The Secret Lives of Color” by Kassia St. Clair. During the shoot I noticed that the sunlight was hitting the lens of my camera just right so that it created this dreamy, sunny, wonderfulness. And maybe these images allow for a better representation of what it feels like to be quiet and present in the midst of all the busy.